The call time for the show was at 5:00 p.m. As my dad drives through the crowded street, you can see an endless line of performers, carrying their bags, suit cases, and make-up sets, getting ready to sign in. As soon as my dad tells me that Czarina and I can get out, we immediately grab everything, scramble out of the car, and race to the end of the line. When we finally arrive, my friends are already huggung and greeting us. Finally, we are all signed in and through the door. We walk all the way up to the fourth floor, hauling our items to where our dressing room is located. As we walk up, people are changing right in front of you, and clothes are flying over your head to get to the performer. You get a big whiff of hairspray on the first floor. As you pass each dressing room, every performer organizes their clothes by the scheduled performances.
When we were, finally at our dressing room, we also did the same. Time flew by so fast! I gazed at the clock that read 5:45. We only had 15 minutes until the show started. The speaker went on and announced that all of the performers were to report to the stage. Everyone was scattered on the stage. You can see all of the performers in bright colored costumes. Some were scary, while others seemed authentic. The keiki performers look so cute with their curly heads, and butterfly wings. Then, the manager of the show shouted over the talking ,"Everyone get into a circle!" I grabbed my neighbors' hand, as soon as the prayer started. My teacher led the prayer, blessing all of our performers, and thanking God for all that he has given to us. We also prayed that we give all of our energy to the audience as we shared out talent and passion with them. We thanked God that all of the hard work we put in this production paid off. Then, as my teacher looked up, she started what we call a "pulse", in which we squeeze the person's hand next to us. The pulse travels throughout the circle. When the last person's hand is squeezed, everyone screams at the top of the lungs to get rid of the nerves. Then we all hug each other, saying backstage terms such as "break a leg".
As each performer heads back to their dressing rooms, the speaker goes on again and announces that the audience is now heading into the theater. We all wait for the speaker to signal when the show will begin. Then, a quick pitched buzz sounds out saying "The show is beginning, HAVE A GREAT SHOW!" If you're quiet enough, you can hear the music of the number that is performing. We all stretch, warming up our muscles. Then, the stage manager announces, "First number on deck!"
When we are finally behind the curtains, the stage lights start to dim. Then we make out way to the stage. Slowly, as the red curtains make their way to the top, you can see the still audience. Nervous and exilharating is what you feel at time. It is as if nothing mattered in the world, except for this moment.The spotlight is on you, and on the people who you and the people you have created a friendship with. The music starts to flow throughout everyone in the theater. We all start to make the first move. I feel the nerves moving through my spine. This is when the adrenaline starts. You feel so energetic, and wanting to give the audience more. This is the best feeling anyone could ever have. On stage, I feel as if anything could happen. It is a time for me to show what I have, and what is important to me. You don't feel like an entertainer, you feel like an artist. You express your emotions through your facial expressions, and your body, that it feels so real. The audience, is amazed, and feels what we are conveying.
Isabelle,
ReplyDeleteyou were very desriptive on explaning the
theater. You explained what you can see,
taste, hear, feel, and smell. You talked about
the theater and how it is important to you. it
felt like i was actually at a theater about to
perform.
-kevin
I agree with kevin how well you described the theater but i would like to elaborateon his opinions.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I like how you compared the backstage and the frontsatge together, I got a little piece of how that theather looked like, although many theathers are that way. Maybe you could of added a bit more descriptions to that theater seems a little bit more unique and different from all the other theaters you have performed at.
when i said i agrred with kevin, maybe not on all he said cause i'm not too sure on what you tasted in your story, so yeah.
but anyways, back to you.
When i was reading your story it made me kind of picture you and czarina dancing in a theater exactly how you described it. "Slowly, as the red curtains make their way to the top, you can see the still audience. Nervous and exilharating is what you feel at time. It is as if nothing mattered in the world, except for this moment.The spotlight is on you, and on the people who you and the people you have created a friendship with."
I just don't understand one thing. Howcome theres one part of your essay where the words are just a little smaller than the others, is it suppose to mean anything important. Oh well, that wasn't really important to say, but I was just curious.
Overall, there weren't too many corrections other than what i have listed above. Fixing them wont be hard, so i hope this kind of helped you a little bit.
Peace, Love, & Lipstick
-Brittany
Hi Isabelle,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kevin and Brittany that this is a good description of the theater. You've captured the excitement of a stage performance.
Here are my recommendations: Take out the second person (you) in the essay. It lessons the personal experience and impact when you use the general "you" to describe things. My second recommendation is to take out the explanation in the conclusion. Up to that point, you are showing how you feel about the theater. The last paragraph, however, starts to explain a lot. I think the details need to stand for themselves, without the "telling."
mrs s